Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm Back. Time to Diss.

I finally have time to rip apart this apparent "Top 10" list. Let's go in order, shall we?
I'll start with Miley. I actually don't mind her being on this list so much. Her role as a dual threat, and the fact that she hasn't seriously f-d up to this point make me sympathize with her. Her music and acting are aimed at the younger crowd. She knows where she stands and it appears she'll keep milking it (much like Hilary Duff did with Lizzie McGuire) until that avenue hits a dead end.
Moving on to Taylor Swift. I'm a big fan of her music. "Teardrops on my Guitar" almost made me cry (and rush out to buy a guitar but that's a different story). I haven't really seen her as a role model figure yet. I've met her, and she's really nice...but beyond her concert appearances I don't see how she has been an inspiration and role model for young kids. Her music is aimed more at the adult crowd, she doesn't act (thank God)... kudos for not getting into trouble yet Taylor, but I don't know if you would have made my list. Actually I do know. You just got the axe.
Rihanna. There is no way in HELL she would have made my list. A power woman sure...she's young, talented, etc. But a role model? NOT being in the tabloids doesn't always make you a role model. She has lost me in her last few videos. Was it "Umbrella" that she almost had a wardrobe malfunction in? Yeah I'm done with this one.
Vanessa Hudgens. You have to be kidding me. What has she done besides pose nude for pictures on the internet and star in two Disney channel movies? NOTHING!!! She tried to make some solo music and, gee, I haven't heard the fruits of that labor, have you? Neutragena signed her before her nude stint thus making her a face wash girl...but please that doesn't make you worthy of the top ten (neither does dating Zach Efron).
Ashley Tisdale. I'm really stuck on this girl. I don't like her (although now that she had surgery to repair her deviated septum maybe I will...it really was her voice that got me). Most of her fame as come from HSM. Although, at least SHE has done other work. She stars in "The Suite Life" and has released a few singles through Disney. She is 21 and claims she doesn't drink. She hasn't been caught doing anything stupid (Vanessa and the nude photos I'm totally talking about you). I can't find really bad things to say about her...so I'll let her stay...even though I feel I could find a better, more qualified candidate. Then again, maybe not.
The Cheetah Girls. I don't want to waste my time here. If your music only appears on Radio Disney...IT DOESN'T COUNT! Making your own lame-ass movies on the Disney Channel and appearing on Dancing with the Stars to try and boost your adult appeal (thanks Sabrina) isn't cool. In fact I'm done talking about these guys because they SO don't deserve to be on this list.
Ah, yes! Finally I candidate I can endorse. Blake Lively is a 20 year old who has suddenly taken the world by storm thanks to her starring role in the new CW drama "Gossip Girls". Prior to this role Blake won over fans with her work as Bridget in "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants". Making sure not to stick soley to the tween crowd Blake has also starred alongside Justin Long in the teen/tweenties comedy "Accepted". This girl is smart, funny, and seemingly has a good head on her shoulders. Blake Lively you would totally be at the top of my list.
Damn Amanda Bynes. Again I have a love hate relationship with her. I HATED her when she was on Nickelodeon. Gag me with a spoon. Then she did a slew of shitty movies, which I also hated ("Big Fat Liar" with Frankie Muniz ring a bell? Of course not...IT SUCKED). But now she's starting to grow into that 21 year old frame and she's growing on me. My friend and I just watched "What I like About You", her now defunct sitcom in which she starred alongside Jennie Garth on the WB, for the first time and had to admit we kind of liked it. Yes it was cheesy and predictable, but isn't that the definition of a sitcom? I also LOVED her in "Hairspray". She was perfect for the role of Penny and as much as a tried to hate her I couldn't help myself. I can say that I've been dissapointed in her other recent big screen roles. "Syndey White" may not have been as much her fault as it was a product of really bad writing. But "She's the Man" I can blame partly on her (maybe because I spent most of the time drooling over Channing Tatum). Bynes is a dual threat. She has her own fashion line at Steve and Barry's. Amanda, you can stay on my list.
Raven. Oh Raven. Why didn't you just leave the business after the Cosby show? Why did you decide to rap, then stick around and be in EVERY bad Disney show EVER created? And at 20-something years old you are STILL appearing in every bad Disney show. I don't get it! You never see this girl on the big screen, her music has failed to extend beyond the radio disney airwaves (thank God), and her show isn't even the most popular on the network. I'm sorry Raven but good girl or not, you don't make my list.
Finally we come to Ellen Page. Yes Ellen won over hearts in her recent big screen flick "Juno". But beyond that I feel she hasn't been a big enough name in this industry long enough to make the list. I bet more people know Raven than they do Ellen Page. Maybe in a year or two Ellen will have further defined her career so that she could crack my top ten, but in the meantime she'll just be a wanna be in my book. You have to have played the game for more than a year to be a force in the industry (and to prove that you won't screw it all up. Look how long Britney was in the industry before she cracked.) I think Ellen will be great, but she just isn't powerhouse material yet.

And now for my list. Including the people US Weekly so thoughtlessly left out.

1.) Hilary Duff
I'm not just putting her at the top because I'm a fan. You can't argue with this girl's success. She has a clothing line, a fragrance, multi-platinum selling albums, a multitude of movies, and she hasn't managed in over six years to screw anything up.
2.) Miley Cyrus
I can't argue with success.
3.) Blake Lively
4.) Hayden Panettiere
While Hayden isn't squeaky clean, she certainly pretends to be (thanks to Neutragena). She is a force to be reckoned with in the industry and has gone out on noticeable humanitarian projects to prove her worth as a celebrity on a mission (remember the dolphins? The girl has a fricken warrant out for her arrest!). She acts, she sings (kind of), and she'll be around for a while. I mean they DID save the cheerleader...
5.) Brittney Snow
This girl always gets ignored. While she isn't A-list Hollywood yet, she is certainly moving in that direction. She was in "Hairspray", she starred in NBC's hit "American Dreams" and of course she blew the teen world away with "John Tucker Must Die". The key is that she had a disease (she was bulimic and suffered from depression) and not only did she overcome it, but she has since worked to help others fight it. Plus if you are cool enough to get Punk'd you can make my list.
6.) Amanda Bynes
I didn't realize how hard it'd be coming up with a top ten. That's the only reason you're number six Bynes...
7.) Kristen Bell
Again this girl is an on the verge Hollywood personality. She was the star of the WB/CW hit "Veronica Mars" and rode that success to a spot on NBC's Heroes. She is also the narrator for "Gossip Girls". The key is that she doesn't get in trouble and she has a humanitarian side. Plus she made my list because she's from Michigan and I'm partial.
8.) Ashley Tisdale
Again...I'll let you stay...
9.) Danielle Panabaker
So I went out on a limb for this one. But she's really smart (she graduated really early and is enrolled in college classes while she works) and has yet to get in trouble. She has worked both the tween and adult circuits and looks to have some serious acting potential. Her notable works include the CBS TV hit "Shark", and the thriller "Mr. Brooks". She has tapped into younger audiences with roles in "Yours, Mine, and Ours" and "Sky High". The fact that she can't be labeled as a Nick or Disney kid is a certain plus and means she makes my list.
10.) Damn it Taylor Swift.
Only because her song made me cry and because I really can't think of anyone else. When it comes to me, I'll change it though.

1 comment:

cheekies28 said...

After first thinking that Ellen Page was the ONLY person that should be on the list, I think you make a valid point. I have seen her in ONE other movie...Hard Candy? Rock Candy? Something about candy. I don't even remember the name-it was THAT crappy. While I hear that her performance in Juno was excellent, she probably does need to stick around a little longer to be cool enough to make THE list.
Back to the Cheetah Girls. They frighten me. And they wore matching animal skin outfits in that piece of crap movie. 'Nuff said.